I have lived on this earth for eighteen years. I have experienced so many things already in my life, and this is just the beginning. Growing up, I always thought that going to the olympics or world championships was only for the superhuman. However, I am starting to realize that we are all only human. Even the Olympians. Give me eight or so years, and maybe you’ll see me race on tv. If Catherine pendrel can do it, why not me? Changing subjects here— I have lived for eighteen full years. I had a crush on a boy once. I never told him. I told my best friend of the time, then she dated him. I have had crushes on guys since, but someone else always seems to beat me to their heart. Maybe it is for the best. But I don’t get butterflies anymore. I am so apathetic nowadays that it is almost sickening. I don’t ever really think about what I might be missing out on until I see a friend smitten, am alone for too long, or am asked for relationship advice. It is really quite depressing, and I know it shouldn’t, but it really lowers my personal image of myself. To think, nobody even had a small desire to be my boyfriend or to just ask me out and see how things went. Well, one of my guy friends did ask me out, but he doesn’t even remember doing it. I had the biggest crush in him, but I was majorly friend zoned. Then he has the nerve to ask me out over the Internet when I have finally accepted my friend zoning. Maybe one day I’ll tell him that our timing was just a little off. But really, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me to not be attractive enough to at least one person. Even weirdos find true weirdo love. Am I just beyond a weirdo or beyond being even slightly unattractive? Whetevs. Seriously, though. What us up with this July rain? My window is open and it is just pooring. It is actually nice.

@2 years ago with 1 note
#rant #just saying #personal #blahblahblah 

Yes, thank you for that incredible pep talk! I especially like the part where you told me I wouldn’t get anywhere in life. 

no.

I know you mean well, but fuck off. You aren’t helping.

If anything, you are impeding my progress.

@2 years ago with 1 note
#personal #rant 

i’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and one think thats crossed my mind is smoking. i’m not really against it, i just don’t do it. and i’ve got nothing against people who do, i mean, its just not for me. and by smoking i mean tobacco and marijuanna and etc., just everything. i have some hereditary asthma from my mother, who almost died from it a couple times when she was younger and who would be hospitalized for weeks back in the day. mine is not quite as serious as that, however i still just can’t stand smoke. especially tobacco smoke. and i’m sure i’ll try some kush sometime in my life, i just don’t have any interest in it at the moment. i mean i do, its just i have other things i’d like to do more to help me get my good start in life. i figure if i can just get i nice push into the world, i can pretty much coast off of that for the rest of my life and then do what i want because then the results won’t be so drastic and permenant. eh maybe i’ve got it all backwards, but i also find guys who don’t smoke anything to be so much more attractive. i’m not sure what it is but i do. but then again, maybe its because i’m an athlete. bleh. but i’m just blabbering. go ahead and hate. haters make me famous. lol.

@3 years ago
#personal #blahblahblah #rant #thoughts 

Yep. That’s me. The disappointment. Someone just gave me a $150 scholarship? “Why didn’t you get more? Why didn’t you get a 4.0? Why didn’t you get a chord or sash to wear for graduation? Why couldn’t you be as great as her? Why couldn’t you do all that he did? Why don’t you ever use that brain? You disappoint me. You could have been so great. You could have done what that person did, easy. why weren’t you good enough to?” Fuck. yeah, why don’t I just not go to the college where the dean wrote me a letter of recommendation for the aerospace engineering department and live at home for the rest of my life, because apparently that’s not good enough. Better yet, why don’t I just become a hermit and go live out in the wilderness a few miles away where I can become successful at my life long dream of being a disappointment to you, because that is really all I’ve wanted to do with my life. No. Fuck that. I am going to be successful in my life. I know I’ve gotten off to a bumpy start in high school; I know that I’m not a perfect little over achiever. I don’t really care that you have such a poor image of me in your mind, I just don’t like being constantly put down. I’m really sick of it. It’s times like these where I wish I could just run away, or at least get out and ride my bike for hours upon hours. I’ll have to do that tomorrow. Sorry guys, I just had to vent. I was yelled at for being given only $150. I really need a change of atmosphere.

@2 years ago with 1 note
#personal #vent #rant 

That’s what I get for not having a four-point-fucking-o. I’m appealing that shit. Seriously. I totally aced AP Calculus BC as a junior, score a fucking 730 or something on the math part of the SAT, and I spend all  of my time on extracurriculars—like being a math/physics tutor, captain of academic decathlon, head quartermaster for marching band, and girls varsity cycling captain. Just because I had an ubermensch moment in classes that didn’t challenge me or classes that I thought weren’t worth my time. Fuck that shit.

@2 years ago with 1 note
#personal #pissed #rant 

I have lived on this earth for eighteen years. I have experienced so many things already in my life, and this is just the beginning. Growing up, I always thought that going to the olympics or world championships was only for the superhuman. However, I am starting to realize that we are all only human. Even the Olympians. Give me eight or so years, and maybe you’ll see me race on tv. If Catherine pendrel can do it, why not me? Changing subjects here— I have lived for eighteen full years. I had a crush on a boy once. I never told him. I told my best friend of the time, then she dated him. I have had crushes on guys since, but someone else always seems to beat me to their heart. Maybe it is for the best. But I don’t get butterflies anymore. I am so apathetic nowadays that it is almost sickening. I don’t ever really think about what I might be missing out on until I see a friend smitten, am alone for too long, or am asked for relationship advice. It is really quite depressing, and I know it shouldn’t, but it really lowers my personal image of myself. To think, nobody even had a small desire to be my boyfriend or to just ask me out and see how things went. Well, one of my guy friends did ask me out, but he doesn’t even remember doing it. I had the biggest crush in him, but I was majorly friend zoned. Then he has the nerve to ask me out over the Internet when I have finally accepted my friend zoning. Maybe one day I’ll tell him that our timing was just a little off. But really, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me to not be attractive enough to at least one person. Even weirdos find true weirdo love. Am I just beyond a weirdo or beyond being even slightly unattractive? Whetevs. Seriously, though. What us up with this July rain? My window is open and it is just pooring. It is actually nice.

2 years ago
#rant #just saying #personal #blahblahblah 

Yep. That’s me. The disappointment. Someone just gave me a $150 scholarship? “Why didn’t you get more? Why didn’t you get a 4.0? Why didn’t you get a chord or sash to wear for graduation? Why couldn’t you be as great as her? Why couldn’t you do all that he did? Why don’t you ever use that brain? You disappoint me. You could have been so great. You could have done what that person did, easy. why weren’t you good enough to?” Fuck. yeah, why don’t I just not go to the college where the dean wrote me a letter of recommendation for the aerospace engineering department and live at home for the rest of my life, because apparently that’s not good enough. Better yet, why don’t I just become a hermit and go live out in the wilderness a few miles away where I can become successful at my life long dream of being a disappointment to you, because that is really all I’ve wanted to do with my life. No. Fuck that. I am going to be successful in my life. I know I’ve gotten off to a bumpy start in high school; I know that I’m not a perfect little over achiever. I don’t really care that you have such a poor image of me in your mind, I just don’t like being constantly put down. I’m really sick of it. It’s times like these where I wish I could just run away, or at least get out and ride my bike for hours upon hours. I’ll have to do that tomorrow. Sorry guys, I just had to vent. I was yelled at for being given only $150. I really need a change of atmosphere.

2 years ago
#personal #vent #rant 

Yes, thank you for that incredible pep talk! I especially like the part where you told me I wouldn’t get anywhere in life. 

no.

I know you mean well, but fuck off. You aren’t helping.

If anything, you are impeding my progress.

2 years ago
#personal #rant 

That’s what I get for not having a four-point-fucking-o. I’m appealing that shit. Seriously. I totally aced AP Calculus BC as a junior, score a fucking 730 or something on the math part of the SAT, and I spend all  of my time on extracurriculars—like being a math/physics tutor, captain of academic decathlon, head quartermaster for marching band, and girls varsity cycling captain. Just because I had an ubermensch moment in classes that didn’t challenge me or classes that I thought weren’t worth my time. Fuck that shit.

2 years ago
#personal #pissed #rant 

i’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and one think thats crossed my mind is smoking. i’m not really against it, i just don’t do it. and i’ve got nothing against people who do, i mean, its just not for me. and by smoking i mean tobacco and marijuanna and etc., just everything. i have some hereditary asthma from my mother, who almost died from it a couple times when she was younger and who would be hospitalized for weeks back in the day. mine is not quite as serious as that, however i still just can’t stand smoke. especially tobacco smoke. and i’m sure i’ll try some kush sometime in my life, i just don’t have any interest in it at the moment. i mean i do, its just i have other things i’d like to do more to help me get my good start in life. i figure if i can just get i nice push into the world, i can pretty much coast off of that for the rest of my life and then do what i want because then the results won’t be so drastic and permenant. eh maybe i’ve got it all backwards, but i also find guys who don’t smoke anything to be so much more attractive. i’m not sure what it is but i do. but then again, maybe its because i’m an athlete. bleh. but i’m just blabbering. go ahead and hate. haters make me famous. lol.

3 years ago
#personal #blahblahblah #rant #thoughts